


Let Us Entertain You

by Elkian (SuperImposed)



Category: Five Nights at Freddy's, Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-16
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-18 05:14:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3557351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperImposed/pseuds/Elkian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cecil reports on the closing of a local restaurant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Us Entertain You

**Author's Note:**

> This was written way back before the second FNAF game came out - I intended to create an entire broadcast, involving things like Tamika Flynn battling the mayor and an eldritch abomination to the death and winning mayorship, but I'm still not caught up on WTNV and haven't finished it. So I posted the finished and relevant part, and finally remembered to upload it here.
> 
> Tumblr: http://elkian.tumblr.com/post/96203867676/let-us-entertain-you

Listeners, today is a day. A sad day. A sad day with sad news. After over twenty years of diligent entertaining, and resisting the threats and sabotage and occasional arson attempts from their main, and in fact only local competition, Big Rico’s Pizza, beloved pizzeria Freddy Fazbear’s has announced that they will be shutting their doors next weekend.

Apparently this is due to severe health code violations, which mostly involve the massive cockroach utopia that now occupies the majority of the men’s bathroom. It seems that a number of patrons complained that it is difficult to relieve oneself under the watchful eyes of several hundred enormous, hungry roaches. Who knew?

Of course, Freddy’s has suffered its fair share of issues, but what local restaurant  **hasn’t** had their animatronic singers and/or servers violently assault elderly customers seemingly at random? In related news, congratulations to Walter Greenburg, who has regained full gross motor control as well as most of his telekinetic and pyrokinetic abilities after his traumatic head injury in 1987. Good for you, Walter.

Freddy Fazbear’s has also announced that they are hiring temporary night staff  to protect their cherished animatronic characters while in the process of closing. If you’re nocturnal, cathemeral, suffering from insomnia brought on by the existential dread of death and what may or may not lie beyond it, or are just looking for a little extra pocket money, swing by the pizzeria this afternoon and drop off an application. After all, this is your last chance to experience the state-approved magic of Freddy’s, as well as get close to its beloved mascots, before it shuts down.

A warning to those of you interested in the job, however: Freddy’s also mentioned that the electrical overhaul they had scheduled for this month has been canceled due to the closure. So the air conditioning might be a little spotty, and you should come prepared.

Goodbye, Freddy Fazbear’s. You might leave our town, our stomachs, and our skulls, but you will never leave our hearts.


End file.
